The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag

By Robert Rankin

This is the tale of Billy, whose Grandmother left him the "voodoo purse" in her will, after he had bought her soul to technology. The stories it tells Billy will swap his existence forever—and the lives of different humans as well.

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No, I’d had him fed right into a leaf shredder. i may imagine him up back, yet he most likely wouldn’t be too stable with . a wasteland like this. How approximately Conan the Barbarian, he’d performed loads of desolate tract paintings. And areas just like the Swamp of everlasting Doom have been correct up his road. No, stuff Conan, what i actually wanted used to be a few transportation. A halftrack, or a Land Rover. Yeah, that was once it, a Land Rover. a type of trans-continental exploration jobbies with all of the extras. I pictured one who I’d visible within the may possibly 1963 version of nationwide Geographic whereas sitting within the dentist’s ready room. after which I stood again from it and smiled. It was once a attractiveness. precisely as I remembered it. this might get me throughout any desolate tract. I positioned my foot at the operating board and opened the driver’s door. and located myself staring in at not anything. Now what did the inner of a Land Rover seem like? I’d by no means been in a single. And— I stepped down and upped the bonnet. I’d by no means visible the engine both. And for that subject I didn’t truly understand how the interior combustion engine functioned. I don’t know the way that one slipped via me. I most likely hadn’t been being attentive whilst it used to be defined. I sighed as I perused the empty bonnet house. brain you, I did know the way a leaf shredder labored. I questioned even if i'll convert one to run this Land Rover. They have been plug-in, so it'll desire a few miles of cable. ‘Oh, sod it,’ I acknowledged. ‘I’ll simply need to stroll. ’ And so I did. It was once boring in that wilderness. scorching and dry and boring. And the concept that i used to be truly strolling approximately within God’s head did not anything to relieve this dullness. I couldn’t think why God could have a spot like this inside of his head besides. yet then i assume that if God is all over and everywhen he has every thing in his head. I made a psychological word to appear up Hugo Rune at a few destiny time and positioned him correct approximately his common production answer. It appeared possible that the complete universe was once not anything greater than a notion in God’s head. in all probability even a passing inspiration. might that be right?. I shook my head. ‘God knows,’ I stated. I don’t know the way a long way I walked into the desolate tract prior to i discovered myself jogging out of it back. part method will be my wager. however it definitely didn’t take too lengthy, so midway couldn’t were that some distance. I stood among the foothills of a lofty mountain variety. ‘That used to be a really small desert,’ I acknowledged to myself. ‘I ask yourself why it’s referred to as the wilderness of No go back? most likely simply because i've got no purpose of returning via it. ’ and that i perked correct up at this. The locations I needed to go through may need foolish delusion names, yet that didn’t suggest that they had to be an issue. They have been most likely simply symbols, or metaphors, or whatever. Freudian stuff to do with rites of passage and exploring the internal self. A trip into me, probably. ‘A piece of cake,’ I acknowledged. ‘I’ll breeze via this. ’ It’s extraordinary simply how fallacious you may be occasionally, isn’t it? The invoice to authorize obligatory downloading at sixty-five gone through the home of Lords unopposed. There may be able to were a few competition from definite elder statesmen, yet there wasn’t.

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